Well, I'm feeling a little better :) I feel more like I have let go. He's still sorta in the back of my mind. But I'm pretending he died. I'm not trying to be morbid, but that helps. It doesn't matter if I want to talk to him if I think he no longer exists. It's also a better way because I feel more forgiveness this way :} So I think I'm on the right track. His a lot older brother has been talking to me lately, so that's pretty cool. It's not weird at all.
Here we go :)

001.“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death” - Albert Einstein.


002.“Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up.”
-Chuck Palahniuk





003. “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean


004. “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”





005. “Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” - Ashley Smith

006. "Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman



007. “To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”


008. “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” - Bill Cosby



009. “Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”


010. “Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.”





011.“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” -Oscar Wilde


012. "Now that we're done I'm so sorry
Why did I lie I'm so sorry
I know I hurt you
I know I hurt you" - Metro Station, (Maybe he'll get it one day.)






013. Dear Broken Heart, make these pieces something beautiful.


014. Here, a little sympathy. For you to waste on me. I know you're faking it, but that's okay. - Yellowcard.






015. “When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting we have just had one.”
- Mignon McLaughlin

016. “Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” - Paulo Coelho



017. "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein

018. "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein



019. Life may change us, but we start and end with Family.


020. "I think about time
A luxury so hard to find
And I just can’t figure out why I
Wasted it all here without you" - Safetysuit :)


-Keep it real ladies and gentlemen :) Love, love.

Well I feel like I've made some progress.. Maybe. I'm not looking at his AIM as much... I don't feel quite as desperate without him now. I think I can do this. Taking it one day at a time I guess.
Major huge update. Here we go...

001. I miss you, but I'm trying not to care anymore...

002. The worst part about falling out of love is wondering if you'll ever open up that far again.



003. I don't want to say things like: "come back to me" because I don't know what I would do with you if you did. I don't feel the same anymore, but I still feel the injustice of it.

004. Everyone says, just do what you want. Don't let anyone stop you. But they don't say what will happen when you lose someone because of it.




005. Just because you said sorry, doesn't mean you meant it..

006. I don't want to wait around for you, I don't want to be angry with you, I just want to forget you as easily as you forgot me.



007. Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
-- Oprah Winfrey

008. “Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven.”




009. Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
-- Raymond Lindquist

010. “The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have.”




011. “Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

012. “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
- Judy Garland




013. “If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”


014. “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”
- Morrie Schwartz



015. “One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.”

016. “Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go, it's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you .”





017. “Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than remember me and cry.”

018. “I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.”




019. “Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.”

020. “Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had."



021. “A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.”

022. “I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I’m going to smile”




023. “Tears are words the heart can't express"


024. “Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”






025. “You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
- David Harkins


026. “You know somebody, and they cry for you. They stay awake at night and dream of you. I bet you never even know they do, but somebody's crying for you.”





027. “Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
- Robert Heinlein


028. “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.”
- Frank A. Clark





029. “Somewhere there is someone that dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely remember it’s true, someone somewhere is thinking of you.”


030. “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”





031. "Love does not divide, it multiplies" - Elisa Raylene

032. “One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.”
- James Earl Jones



033. “Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.”

034. “Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever.”

001. I don't know what you want, but I do know it's not me.



002. And if you loved me like I love you, would you even let me know?

003. How many tears will it take to realize you don't need a guy to make you happy?



004. If you had the heart to go with those eyes, I'd fall for you and never think twice.
I trust those lips that tell such sweet lies, but I am always the one that cries.

005. I don't know why I fell for you so hard, but I bet you will never think about me this much.



006. And when we hear hearts break we'll say they're playing our song...



007. Jealousy is a destructive thing.. Thinking about how you feel about her just kills me inside.


008. Here. A little jealousy
I hope you think of me
Hope you wonder where I sleep at night
Cause I feel like I'm inside out
You got me upside down
Maybe I was holding on too tight



009. Even if I wanted to
I don't think that I'd get to you
There's nothing I can say to you to make you feel alive again

010. "I look forward to the day when I can look back on today and laugh."



011. Luke 22:32- ''But I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.''


012. "Why are you striving, these days? Why are you trying, to earn grace? Why are you crying? Let Me lift up your face, please don't turn away. Why are you looking, for love? Why are you searching, as if I'm not enough? Tell Me where will you go, child. Tell Me where will you hide?" - Tenth Avenue North♥






Is it colder than usual outside today?
Oh my goodness it is WAY too cold right now =(

what do you normally order on your burger?
Tomatoes and lettuce and ketchup

have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty?
Yes, I love doing that :)

have you ever voted in an election?
i'm not legal to vote.

do you live in the united states?
yes.

when is the last time that you lied?
I'm not really sure.

did you have school/class today?
Somewhat.

what would you say is your biggest pet peeve?
People who expect people to baby them. People who lie and don't man up enough when the person you lied to apologizes to them. Smacking your food.

do you know how to burn a CD?
yes siriee.

what is the hardest class that you ever had to take?
.... Idk...

do your parents use any instant messaging?
Nope. Texting yes :P

do you own a pair of slippers?
Psh dude, I own a pair of BUNNY slippers. Eat that.

do you have any paintings in your room? if so, of what?
Yes I do, my best friend painted a tree on my wall. =)

have you ever had your photo professionally taken?
Like every year- my dad is a professional. :P

have you ever gone out in public in your pajamas?
I do believe I have

what is the biggest flaw in your spouse/crush?
I don't really have a crush, honestly.

do you own any sporting jerseys?
eh... nope.

what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Cotton Canday!

do you prefer writing with mechanical pencils or normal #2 pencils?
Either is fine.

do you wear contact lenses?
Nope.

are you planning on dressing up for halloween?
Yeah buddy!

have you fought with anyone recently?
Uhm. Not really..

did you ever watch a soap opera?
I did with my best friend once! Haha it was the funniest thing ever. It started out as a joke and then we tried to follow the plot. It was the most confusing hour of my life!

what color is your room painted?
Red, white and black trim.. Kinda like Coca-Cola.

are your fingernails nicely kept or do you bite them?
Well I don't bite them but they're not incredibly nice I try to keep them up though. =P